We’ve all heard this quote from Shakespeare many times, but after a recent stint in Europe working with an incredible group of singers, it really hit home. For some, it’s a literal stage with curtain, spotlights, and live audience. Still, for others, it’s a boardroom, networking event, job interview, sales call, speaking at a PTA meeting, or even a first date. As a Mindset Coach with a background as a professional singer/actor, I have a passion for helping performing artists. Looking back on my coaching experience, I now realize that coaching artists around audition and performance mindset is really no different than coaching the top performers I work with on mindset in regard to personal and professional stages. For some, that stage can be as basic as riding the subway, feeling like fellow riders are judging them. All the world is a stage, and our mindset plays a significant role in how we perform.
Aside from the actual performance stage, where we receive live audience feedback, much of the feedback we get on life’s other stages is created in our imagination, as we “think” we know what others are thinking. We see a gesture, a yawn, a look, and we “think” we know what it means. We “think” it’s about us even though we have absolutely no facts to base that on.
A quick real-life example. A friend of mine, I’ll call him Bob, was giving a motivational presentation to over a hundred people. As he went on, he couldn’t help but notice a man in the second row who looked completely uninterested. The rest of the audience was engaged and responsive, but throughout his entire presentation, he couldn’t shake his thoughts about this uninterested guy. He was a huge distraction. At the end of his presentation, there was great applause, and several people came up to speak with him.
Once all of that ended, Bob saw that his nemesis was still sitting in his seat. He walked over and said, “Excuse me. I couldn’t help but notice that you looked totally uninterested as I was speaking today, and I am just wondering, well, if I did something to upset or offend you in some way.” The man looked up at him and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. No. My father passed away last night, and I couldn’t get a flight out until this evening. Since I had already paid for this event, I decided I’d come in hopes of it taking my mind off my dad for a bit.” Bob felt horrible, but more than that, he was slapped in the face with a reminder that we never know what is going on with someone else…unless we ask them. The same is true in all situations. We never “know” what others are thinking, and when we think we do, we are fooling ourselves. The fact that what we make up is almost always negative is a subject for another day.
Have you ever caught yourself making up a negative story in your mind about what others are thinking? How did it affect how you showed up in that moment?
Reach out to me if you want to learn more about how to improve your mindset in life’s many “performance moments.”
Matthew Walley
Mindset Coach and Founding Partner
Inside Outlooks Coaching and Consulting
info@insideoutlooks.com
